Monday, April 30, 2007
Seventy-eighth Post Ever...
so.youth was amazing.
JonJon talked about how "confession is good for the soul" and it was so powerful. I was so moved...I cried.
I've kind of been obsessing over school and whatnot lately, and I've kind of lost sight of my relationship with God, mostly just going through the motions.
I was reading a book...Blue Like Jazz, and in the second chapter it says "I believe that the greatest trick of the devilis not to get us into some sort of evil but rather have us wasting time. This is why the devil tries so hard to get Christians to be religious. If he can sink a man's mind into habit, he will prevent his heart from engaging God."
This hit me hard...and then what Jon said tonight on top of all that...I felt so...guilty.
I don't read my Bible like I should.
I don't spend time with God like I should.
I don't put Jesus on the top of my priorities list like I should be.
I get angry over the stupidest little things.
I'm tempted easily, and sometime's I give in...and just go with the crowd when I know I shouldn't.
And it hurts. It pains me to realize how much I hurt God when I do those things. It hurts my relationship with God, and it hinders my life. The guilt just weighs me down until I feel like I can't do anything anymore.
That's why I cried so hard tonight. And it felt good to cry...to let all the built up frustration and guilt and sadness just rush off me. I feel so relieved now. It's like a tidal wave of emotion just swept through me, and now I'm just barren land ready for God to build on. And I'm excited for it.
As of tonight, I'm new in God. He's going to make a strong tower out of me, and I'm ready for it. I'm ready to go wherever He calls me, wherever I'm needed. I'm so excited.
please pray for me, as this is all EXTREMELY new to me. I feel kind of as if I'm a brand new Christian...and this time, I'm not afraid to share it with the world!
muchlove...
/amanda
Amanda at 10:11 PM
2 Comments
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at 8:50 PM
ÇЋẫŊŦΣŁĻЭ said... awww amanda!
I know how you feel when things like that happens, but I didn't know you were crying last night.
A mi me gusta mi amiga amanda <3
I pray fer u
/face *-
at 7:19 AM
º٭ºٔ Ð@iš¥ º٭º said...
Awe manda, I'll always pray for you!!!!!!!!!!!
Love you!!!!!!!